I woke up with a peculiar thought yesterday morning, after dreaming about being at an event with my parents, where they were supporting my sister for something which, well, took place sixteen years ago.
In the dream, I kept mistakenly repeating “it’s been ten years!” (clearly I wasn’t doing the math correctly or I was younger in the dream) and not feeling like I was being heard; perhaps indicative of being in Brazil and so far away from friends and family at the moment.
That aside, if you’ll believe it, I woke up feeling jealous, agitated and slightly annoyed. With who? My sister, of course! How dare she get all that recognition, and in an entire dream? I mean, how dare she infiltrate my dream in the first place, and leave me in a foul mood right at the start of the day?
Ridiculous, right? I can laugh now, but it’s incredible how our subconscious has the ability to bring up some of our personal demons at the most arbitrary of times. I take my rest very seriously and would prefer to ponder these things while awake, thank you very much.
It got me thinking about whether this is perhaps why I’ve always been tougher on my sister than I should be, and frankly, I know that that’s a conversation for the therapist’s office. I realised, however, that after waking up from this dream, I got up with a couple of strong assumptions about all parties involved, based on my experience, and well, my own opinions of these people. My formed opinions over time, of course.
So here’s the question. What would happen if you left your assumptions about someone at the door each day? What if I got up, and let go of all assumptions of who I believe anybody in my life to be, be it from their behaviour in real life, or even in a dream. What if we just took the people for who they are today, and what they are up to at this point in their lives. What if we didn’t hold others to the ideas that we’ve crafted about them over time? What if I let go of old resentments, which are most likely not even applicable to the people these days anyway?
Now listen, I’m not saying it’s a good idea to “leave your assumptions at the door” regarding someone who is abusive or a toxic influence in your life. We all know who those people are and it is best to maintain firm boundaries with them at all times. I’m more interested in the people we judge a little more harshly, the ones we assume “have it all together” and quite frankly, those we can be a little jealous of. Is it time to let go, in order to move forward? Perhaps.
I’d like to take more time to appreciate that everyone is a combination of the good, and the bad. We’re all imperfect, we all deserve forgiveness, and we all have some healing to do. I’m not sure about you, but I think it may just be a little bit easier if we undertake this together.
I’ll ponder this for a couple of days at least, and welcome your thoughts in the comment section or via e-mail.
– Conrad was here.