The latest poem from ‘Autumn Haze’ was inspired by a popular Finnish singer.

“Turunen”
by Conrad Schwellnus

Wanderlust, you are my embrace,
The lines of pain ring heavily on your face.
Did the others leave you bothered, recall your vanity yet,
The team without an ‘I’, a wave of pure regret.

You walk alone at the behest of yourself,
Dig a little deeper, there’s still magic on the shelf.
I had a dream and this is very much it,
Blink and it’s gone, nowhere else for us to sit.

Am I harsh in my assumptions, do I love a woman in power,
A semblance of the hold, a breast, a birth I will discover.
The shackles are undone, the door has been unlocked,
Best we keep our distance, and our sorrows left in shock.

Turunen, great beauty, a haunting nightingale,
Ever apologetic for the harshness, a reminder ever pale,
Of the seeking of approval, the tenderness in me,
A longing for a guide living beyond true apathy.

I wrote ‘Autumn Haze’ in a time that I was listening to heavy metal band Nightwish’s ‘Wishmaster‘ album rather religiously. In “Turunen”, I talk about the departure of their then lead singer, Tarja Turunen, who left the band after being served with a dismissal letter at the end of one of their tours nearly fifteen years ago. I was inspired to write this having also seen an interview she did with the press afterwards, and the poem also references my experiences with strong female influences in my life.

Half of the anthology has now been shared, and in six weeks it will be published in full. If you’d like to read the other poems in the series, have a look at the new page I’ve created, featuring all the poems together right over here.

– Conrad was here.

This is “Flourish”, the the next piece of the ‘Autumn Haze’ puzzle.

“Flourish”
by Conrad Schwellnus

Clear is kind, like the depths of your sorrow,
A heart of steel, you will surely need to borrow.
Perhaps you can lend it to feed your hungry soul?
A lifetime of lies, no longer taking their toll.

Bested by those who loved their own reflections,
Using their kin in resolution of their imperfections.
Seemingly damaged to a point of no return,
A reality to ponder, but your memories start to burn.

Widening of shallow, subsiding anger in your mind,
Honesty and truth will always pay you back in kind.
Creative you will be, creative you will flourish,
A journey to build on, a past to demolish.

This poem is one of the pieces that went through the most edits from the first draft, simply because it had a lot going on (there was an additional stanza in the original version that didn’t quite fit, and I may use elsewhere in the future). It’s fairly dark, and tells a story of sorrow, but ultimately redeems itself in the last stanza, providing a glimmer of hope in the process.

Next week, I’ll be publishing a very special poem, influenced by ex-Nightwish singer Tarja Turunen. The piece, which was written while I was listening to her sing, is simply titled “Turunen” and it will be live on the site by 12h00 GMT+2 on Friday the 10th of May.

We’re five poems into the ‘Autumn Haze’ anthology already, with seven to go in the series. You can learn more about the anthology over here, but if you’re curious about the other poems in the series, have a look at this nifty page displaying all the poems in a batch right over here. Have a wonderful rest of your week.

– Conrad was here.